Big News!

I have officially changed the month of love to May. Wait, let me tell you why!

For anyone who doesn't know, three years ago, in 2013, I took a long-term mission to South Africa. It was a trip I had never experienced before and that is why I am still here today with Ten Thousand Homes. But also, there was someone I met in 2013. Her name is Nontobeko; at that time I could only say her English name, Freedom. I practiced and practiced saying her name until I could say it correctly. Come to find out just last year I was still pronouncing her name wrong and she never hesitated to correct me. Cultural challenges. But let me help you pronounce her name. Nontobeko, (known-doe-bae-go). Did you get it? Sweet!

Over these years I have fallen in love with this woman that is full of joy and laughter, who has a skill of leading, enjoys challenges and has a heart for helping others. It has been three years of learning a different culture. Yet there is so much more. I won't forget when our pastor, Pastor Sthembiso from Mbonisweni, told me that this was the first time he has seen this in the community, an interracial relationship. Soon enough it was easy to see the differences on the view of relationships the way I would see it and the way South Africa sees it. Many times we made mistakes and I had to humble myself before God and the people mentoring us. We didn't want to fight at whose culture was right or better than the other but representing Gods Kingdom. This has allowed me to soak in this beautifully complex culture to grow closer not only with Nontobeko but our church in Mbonisweni, and the local people I work with. I wouldn't take back any of it.

So let's jump to what this is about.

May 21^st I will be asking for Nontobeko's hand in marriage, but in a whole new way. I have had joy and a longing to learn how to live and work in this culture. That is why I have chosen to fully respect their traditions. Here in South Africa they have a deep tradition called Lobola, or what we would call it, bride-price. A man that is interested in a woman and wants to commit in marriage has to go through a process that involves negotiations and money, sometimes cattle. But that is not all. The bride's family have a chance to see how much respect the groom has for their daughter and for her family. The negotiations involve discussing a price to be paid for the br

ide, but also if the man has the responsibility of being a strong, caring husband. The negotiated price is not merely making a business deal but exchanging gifts. Lobola is a demonstration of how much the woman is valued by both sides.

After both families agree with a price then begins the celebration! When the man makes a first payment then the bride and groom will be traditionally married. Today though it is common to have a wedding ceremony, official marriage documents and a blessing from the church, after Lobola of course. So technically she will be considered my wife when I give the first payment! Ow Ow! We have decided to have our wedding this year, but deeper discussions about dates will come up after the second, and hopefully the last, payment.

So Non and I will be going through this process and we are incredibly excited, and anxious too. Some negotiations can take a couple hours to a whole day, but we are hoping it will be just a few hours. Since my family lives thousands of miles across the globe and the difficulty of expense, I have chosen close friends, which I would consider family anyways, to take part in negotiating from my side. As this is a next level in life it is also a big step financially. I am grateful for the support I have received over these years and truly blessed. With marriage there are new responsibilities and larger costs of living from house payments to food and my support now couldn't do it alone. My hope is that you take the time praying and asking God how you can become involved with Nontobeko and I's walk down this new thing called marriage.

In these next couple weeks I ask that you join in this exciting time and that you keep us in your prayers as this is a big step in life. Be praying for God's favor that everything is smooth, that there is no complications or ridiculous bride-price amount and that He will bring forth joy in the atmosphere while knitting together the foundation for family.